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The New Single by Tamsen Fadal, Review by the Divorced Breadwinner Mom

Title: The New Single: Finding, Fixing, and Falling Back in Love with Yourself After a Breakup or Divorce

Author: Tamsen Fadal

Synopsis: “In 2007, I was married in the New York Times. In 2012, I was divorced in the New York Post.” These are the opening sentences of the introduction to Tamsen Fadal’s new book offering a roadmap from breakup or divorce to arrival at the place where you’ve become the person you’re supposed to be.

Ms. Fadal introduces the book as everything you need to know about preparing yourself to be single again and getting ready for a new life, as well as a new relationship, should you decide that you want one. She mixes examples and stories from her own experiences with those of “heavy hitter” experts in happiness, finance, organization, career, health, etc. The book is organized around the first year after breakup or divorce from survival mode in the first 90 days to new relationships in the last 90 days and beyond.

The book covers major topic areas like money, health, self-esteem, and more and includes suggested exercises, guidelines, and specific advice in those areas.

Who Would Benefit? If you’re considering divorce or newly divorced and seeking a guide, this would be a good book to pick up. Ms. Fadal’s suggestions and advice, particularly about learning to know and love yourself first, are spot on. The writing style is informal and accessible, and she shares some of her own challenges that help readers relate and feel understood. As a public figure (and former co-owner of a matchmaking business), she experienced more public scrutiny and embarrassment over her divorce than most of us divorced moms are likely to, and her lessons are hard-won but heartfelt.

Why I Picked it Up: I saw the book described in the daily email I receive from Dailyworth.com, a site focused on finances for women and founded by a divorce woman, Amanda Steinberg. I was curious, both about the content and about Ms. Fadal’s journey from matchmaker to divorced woman.

What I Liked: The book covers lots of important topics and offers solid advice and suggestions, mixed with personal examples and stories. It’s easy to read and interesting, as well.

What I Didn’t Like: This book will be most helpful to the newly divorced and those who are seeking a new relationship. Those who have been divorced for a while have likely already navigated most of the areas described in the book, though some refreshers on health and/or dating might be useful. There is a heavy emphasis on what needs to be done to have a healthier new relationship in the future, which is to be expected from someone who has a background as a matchmaker. However, Ms. Fadal does not have children, so this aspect of life after divorce is not addressed in detail though it is a key consideration for most divorced moms.

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